He comes in my shop almost everyday with tatty bits of broken jewellery, cassette tapes from the local Bible Bashing Church down the road, smelly cloths and always brings a handful of Ginger Snap biscuits. Trouble is, these particular biccies look like a science experiment, not only have they been lovingly fondled by him for weeks on end in the darkness of him pocket. They are also covered in bits of tissue, chewing gum and some gunk that only a good CSI could identify. Still, it doesnt stop him, he is relentless and comes through the door, plonks them on the counter and promptly leaves.
In a rush of normalcy...now and again, he gives me a Pound for the Butterwick Cancer Box, but on the other hand, he has been known to bring me a solitary roll up ciggie and come back the following day and ask for it back.
Everyday at 5pm, I have to return all the stolen good to the Charity Shop...where they are under strict instruction not to put the stuff straight back on the shop floor. We have learned that he just keeps stealing the same items everyday for the entire week and I get really pissed off, having to taking all the crap back.
Before the tree outside the shop got struck by lightening, he used to leave pennies 'for the poor children' carefully placed on the branches.
Sometimes, when I hoover the shop floor, I find neat little piles of coins in the corners and on shelf ends....
PS.... I call him Magic Padlock Man, because he buys at least two padlocks a week from my shop...but after he has paid for them, he opens the packets and leaves the keys on the counter. Three years ago, when he first started doing this, I asked him what he wanted the padlocks for... He told me that he needed to lock everything up at home. I suggested that he take the keys with him, to be able to open the padlocks later. He looked me in the eye and with absolute clarity, told me that he didnt need the keys, as there was a magic word on the front of the padlock which, when he said it, would open the padlock.
Looking down at the padlock, I noticed they had been stamped with a picture of a bird and the word EGRET... as he walked out of the shop with his fourth padlock of the week... I thought....them cleaners must love you on the Mothership mate!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment