Window licking good...

So this Monday morning, the dress code for the Village appears to be, slippers, pjama bottoms, football shirts, orange tan and an entire collection of Elizabeth Duke jewellery...

It must be finally getting colder, as today, there were no mid riffs showing and the peasants were cramming themselves into the phonebox to scratch off their instant win cards and wait for the local drug dealer.  They did, of course, leave their screaming kids outside strapped to various pushchairs in the biting wind, while they filled the phonebox with the smell of Benny Hedgehogs, chip fat and wet dog...

Latinus Twatius - was in a hurry today, so he just stood in the doorway and waved his bits of paper, shouting "PERAMBULATORY!" at me...then telling me that the clue was in the Daily Mail crossword...When I pointed out that I was too busy to read the bloody paper, he just shrugged and left the slips of paper on the counter, with a threat to come back the next day and test me.

This morning, Magic Padlock Man, is actually wearing a tea cosy on his head, on top of the grubby hat he normally wears!.  Looks like there is a possibility it could be one he has stolen from the charity shop next door. A charming little number with little flowers and huge amount mangey unwashed curls of hair sticking out of the hole at the back.  He looks quite fetching and has only been in three times so far, twice to bring me a handful of rolled up fags and to ask if he can have the pound back that he donated to the Butterwick box last Friday.
  
I am beginning to wonder what the feck is the matter with people these days?   My last customer just called me a lying pig, cos I told him that opal lightbulbs have been taken off the market and shops no longer sell them.   Apparently, HE has never heard of the new energy bulbs and told me that the EU legislation doesnt apply to us, cos the UK doesnt have The Euro!?!?

Basking in his ignorance and screaming at shop staff must make him feel a lot better, fffsss!

Just finished doing the Christmas window display...in time for the chavs to smear Greg's pastie and finger prints all over the glass...