The quantum laws of The Village universe have changed today, because its
raining...not just rain though...proper - End of The World
Rain....
Therefore the residents of The Village of The Damned think the
following rules apply....
Our Village has the highest concentration of
hairdressers in the County, but the elderly female community, may still come in
to our gardening shop and ask if we sell plastic rain bonnets???
Crimes
against fashion are allowed, note: the parade of rain bonnetted Geries standing
in the torrential downpour, in the queue, 45 mins before The Post Office
actually opens....
The local chavvies may still trawl the High Street,
dragging their brood, who should clearly be in school...down to Tescos for fags,
scratchcards and a bottle of White Lightening...WITHOUT a coat.... Fake tan and
midriffs still on show.
Each customer has the right to point out to shop
staff that "its raining"...and expect shop staff to look suprised. Despite the
fact that it rains for approx 197 days a year in the UK. Residents may be
oblivious to shop staff having a life outside of work and may think, that staff
are under the impression that its positively tropical outside, ignoring the
detail that most of the staff, have just come to work in the deluge.
Torrential rain somehow changes the UK Highway Code and Residents can
basically park where they likey... And in the event they cant find a space, they
can pull their entire car onto the pavement, blocking the entrances of the local
shops...
Residents have the rights to over dramatise the descriptive
words they use for the current inclemency.... Words like...awful, appalling,
terrible, horrific, soaking, drowned etc... are acceptable, though under normal
circumstances most of these words are usually used to describe major world
events like the sinking of a ship, tsunamis, hurricanes etc... This particular
level of humidity, gives Residents the right to lose perspective within the
global context.
Poor weather conditions also enable Residents to get out
their appropriate rain wear, which, when last put away, may not have been quite
dry and despite it having a foisty odour of mildew and wet dog, wear it away...
DESPITE THE RAIN... Todays Latin class is NOT cancelled...
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