Pouring down today and Helicoper man must be on day release from the mothership.
He made his entrance into the shop wearing a rammy fleece, smelling of stale fags, unshaven and clearly allergic to soap and water. With huge dramatic sighs, he was loudly complaining to anyone who would listen, that it was poor visibility and he may have to get in touch with The Tower and cancel his flight...
He then came to the counter, wafted his eau de icky bits over me and smugly asked if we had 'any whiskey delta four zero?'.....
He then grinned at me, with his yellow Stone Henge teeth and was obviously expecting me not to know what he was talking about and for me to ask him to repeat his question. I'm sooo used to his weekly bullshite, I just stifled a laugh and pointed to the shelf.
Clearly, bitterly disappointed, missing the opportunity to dazzle me with his knowledge. He picked up a small can and shouted to me across the shop, ensuring all the other customers heard him...
"Whats the difference between this can of whiskey delta four zero and the large can of whiskey delta four zero?"
I replied - " 250 mills larger Sir".
Fuming, He brought the small can over to the counter and slamming it down said - "You will address me as Captain"...
By this time, I was rattling with laughter inside...
"Righto"... I said
"Roger Captain" He said sternly...
I couldnt resist and said "I'm sorry, I didnt realise you had passed your pilots licence, I thought you only flew model aircraft"...
"Its just the same" he snapped.... (Yer, course it is mate!)
"That will be £1.49p, please...Captain"
*Thinks* Whiskey, Alpha, November, Kilo, Echo, Roger....
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